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Agent July ([personal profile] agent_july) wrote2015-05-28 07:06 pm
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Mission Four: Will you still be Human?

This takes place early March-ish 2008 HST, for anyone confused by my general garbling of the timeline for my Agents. Yay for obfuscation!

Thank you to Paddlebrains for beta-reading.

"I'm just saying, it doesn't taste that bad."

"It was moving, July!"

The Sue-color bedsheet that served to separate their Response Center from the hallway was pushed aside as July and Library entered, back from lunch in the cafeteria.

"Okay, fine, it was moving. But I asked the server and they said it was supposed to be like that and-"


Library accepted the mission and sighed. "They were probably lying to you. "

"Probably," July admitted. She hopped onto the swivel stool that had migrated (read: been stolen and snuck off with) into their RC a few months ago and spun a bit before she stopped, facing the Console's monitor. "Okay, so what have we got he- Oh good God. 1984?" She stared at the screen and read the summary. "Gaaah."

"Orwell, wasn't it?" Library picked up the notebook, a few pens, and their copy of 1984.

"The dystopia one? Yeah." July collected the rest of their equipment.

"I wasn't even aware it was possible to create a Sue in that continuum," Library mused, as she opened the portal.

"Well, if you make your character the daughter of someone who doesn't even actually exist, it'skind of easy, I suppose." July looked at the monitor one last time. "Well, it looks to be short, so that's a relief, at least." They went in.

The scene was vague and fuzzy, and the only thing that was especially defined was a letter that Library picked up. "A Letter To the Readers," she read.

"Eugh. Start reading it?"

Library did so. "My name is Anna Elizabeth Goldstein."

"Ack, I'll write the charges since you're busy reading." July took the notebook and a pen.

"I live in Oceania, that is ruled by Big Brother, but mostly just by the Party. Goodness, did she even read the same book as everyone else? The Thought Police run your life, but even less when you are a prole. I think that one should be taken as a charge, July, very awkward phrasing there. I feel sorry for the Party members though, especially because their own children will betray them. There is no such thing as family live, and values in the lives of a Party member."

"Blah, they do have values. Just not yours, Sue."

"They live in even more fear then -another spelling error- that of a single prole in trouble with the law. Proles have more of a family life they are free to do as they choose. Well, that is true. I am an orphan, I was orphaned by the Party. Oh, yes, of course. Poor thing, that will make us instantly sorry for you. I hate it and I hate Big Brother. I can't read this anymore, it's utterly ridiculous."

"Can I read it then, since you've decided to stop?"

July was given the letter. "Yes. And-" Library pulled out a pen. "Yes! I knew I brought one in a different color besides black." She sounded pleased. "Just give it back to me once you've finished."

"Mkay." July scanned a few lines and then stopped. "My mother was died shortly after I was born. Was died? Was died!? Ahahaha, so stupid. Don't blame you for not wanting to finish reading it out loud, it's ridiculous."

With the letter finished, the scene began.

When the nagging, beating, and pain stop…Will you still be human?

"Buwah?" July looked around. "What was that about?"

"I think she is trying to be intelligent," Library told her partner. She was busy writing something.

"...What're you doing?" July tried to peer at the paper. "Was that a charge?"


"Can I see?"

"Later, the Sue is right over there, we should follow her."

They did so, watching as the Sue dodged for no apparent reason into an abandoned building with broken windows and no door to hide a book under floorboards.

"I have no idea what that was about. Do you?"

Library was still writing. "The Party controls all information and has no real books anymore, doesn't it?" Her voice held an undeniable tone of disgust.


"She's obviously trying to be brave and clever by saving books."


They watched as the Sue walked out of the building to be joined by a young man and a little girl. They made their was into the forest and met more children there.

"I'm not getting this at all," July commented flatly, as a helicopter came and they group ran for it, the double use of pronoun and noun causing all of the ones running away to split into two. "Oooh noooo, a helicopter! Run!" she mocked. "There's no point if we don't even care for any of the characters, and she hasn't even bothered actually naming anyone outright yet. That'll form real attachment. Definitely."

"She really does not think, does she?" Library was still writing, though she had temporarily switched back to the charge list.

"Are you gonna tell me what you're doing yet?" July once again sidled close to Library in an attempt to look at the paper, but was conquered by her lack of height; Library merely lifted the paper over July's head.

"Not yet."

They followed the Sue into a run down house."She's really going out of her way to show she's not afraid of anything, I mean, she's not afraid of helicopters or the Party or probably even laser eyed bears," July said, as they watched the Sue send the two young children that had been with her away before she collected and hid things that had been throughout the house.

Her partner stared at her. "What?"

"Hah! Gotcha!" It had been enough of a non sequitur and minor distraction that July had been able to snatch the paper. "Haha, oh God, you're editing it! Corrections!! With criticism and red ink and everything! That's brilliant! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it would distract you from the mission. Like it is right now."

After a while, the Suewent to another house, where a gloomy woman was waiting for her.

“Mrs. Jacob’s did Sally and Jason make it here?” She looked at the woman with concern.

"She really abuses punctuation, doesn't she?" Library said, taking it down as a charge.

"She's abusing everything; her spelling and grammar is nearly textbook Sue." July threw a pebble at the Sue's head, and ducked out of sight when Anna looked around to see where it came from. "You'd think the DTE would have got this mission, this is right up their alley."

The woman smiled at her. “Yes Anna they did. Are you a’right?”

“Yes Mrs. Jacobs.”

The woman nodded as the girl walked up. They entered the house.
The two Agents snuck in, though the bit character was so glazed from the Sue that it wasn't especially difficult. Sally and Jason both running for Anna. She bed down and ruffled their hair smiling, but deep inside she wasn’t at all happy. The Thought Police had struck again. Sally and Jason were he sole responsibility now. The two ran off and she stood up walking to the couch and sitting down.

"Augh, what boring exposition." July mimed a yawn. "And-"

"She's responsible for those children." Library had spoken through clenched teeth.

"Buwah? The Sue?"

"Yes, the Sue."

"Eeeeh," July stepped away from her partner; her instinct for survival, little as it was, went off when the normally mild girl became angry. "They'll just go back into the canon after the Sue is dead," she told Library, hoping it would placate her.

"They'll be proles."

"Yeah and- oooh." Understanding hit July like it was her sledgehammer. "Don't want the two kids to be part of the ignorance of the masses thing?"

Library's expression confirmed this hazarded guess.

"Well, there's that nursery at HQ," July mused. "We could always drop them off there."

"I suppose that would work," Library said, finally. "I don't want to wait much longer, there's just more poorly done exposition and I do not want to wait through that."

July pulled out the Remote Activator and opened a portal. Coming out, a voice boomed over them.

Disclaimer: I don't one Winston the Ministry of love, Victory square, George Orwell does. I do own my character and her friends.

a/n: I know it's a short chapter and all of them pretty much are. I'm sorry about that. Still please R&R i hope you are liking it.

July looked up at the ceiling with a flat look. "Winston the Ministry of love?" Her eye twitched.

"'One.'" Library loaded her gun in a thoughtful way. "They don't even bother to read what they're typing. Even a second look would reveal most of these errors..."

They followed the Sue to the abandoned house and then to 'Victory square', as she kept calling it.

"Agh, silkscreen?" July nearly managed to trip herself with her sledgehammer when she read the Words. "She calls it a silkscreen? They're telescreens, you stupid girl! Silkscreen, telescreen, they are not the same!"

The Sue randomly knew who Winston was, and distrusted the trinket shop and its owner.

July was swinging her sledgehammer around angrily. "Agh! No sense at all! Knowing stuff like that makes no sense in a narrative! In a story you're supposed to show how the character knows stuff like that, not tell. It's just bad story-telling." She paused thoughtfully. "Then again, I don't tell people how I know the stuff I do know. Or my sources."

Library gave July a strange look. "What are you talking about?"

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Pay no attention to me, I'm just being spastic."

Library pointedly ignored July's continued ramblings while they entered the Ministry of Love ahead of the Sue.

She entered the building shaking a bit. She hated the place and she’s been in it one to many times anyways. She dodged a few people and looked at the desks. She rummaged through the papers and finally found Mr. Allen’s name. She dropped the paper after she read it. She ran out of the building and into the street without ever once running into anyone that might figure out who she was. She took to the streets and headed back home quickly.

"She shouldn't be able to even sneak in here, or find any of that paperwork," Library noted, adding the charge when the two left. She was still ignoring July.

They followed the Sue as she side tracked into the Paddington station.

"Hang on, we didn't take the train to get out here in the first place," July said. "Did we?"

"No, we didn't."

"I thought so."

She got off the train and heading out into the sun. She walked through the fields and into the forest heading in the direction of home. She got lost in thought…

The scene faded into grey-scale.

"Huh." July looked around. "This is... new."

It was a bright day and the smell of meat ran through the house. It was the only meat that they had ever had.

"Smell of meat?" Library's nose wrinkled as the flashback moved them into a room where a woman was giving birth. "She really isn't paying attention to what she's writing, at all."

After giving birth she began to throw up and fade.

Library looked at the fading woman queasily. "That's something I don't wish to ever see again."

The baby was cleaned and handed off to a bearly 12 year old Anna. The younger version of the Sue turned into a bear anthro. Who was then told to leave which she did. Tree days later Mrs. Allen died and Mr. Allen was devastated and took to his bed. Looking outside showed July that the sky had taken on a distinctly plantlike appearance. That was the day that Anna totally grew up. The flashback Sue turned into an adult.

Library did her best to keep July from bashing her head in on one of the walls until the flashback ended.

"Did not want," July muttered. "Didn't want at aaaaaall. Aaagh. Tree days. Gawd. All the chlorophyll..." She shuddered.

"Well, you shouldn't have looked outside."

"It's not my fault, it's Morbid Curiosity's fault. I couldn't help it."

Anna felt herself cry. She stopped her thoughts.

"Yes, please! Stop thinking! Stop thinking and die!"

"July, calm down."

She opened her eyes realizing one that she had been walking with them closed and that she was almost home. She quickly dried her eyes. Since Mrs. Allen’s death she hadn’t cried in front of anyone.

"And we don't count, of course. I thought Sues were supposed to notice us."

"She's hardly paying attention to her own surroundings."

"Mm. Good point. She's not gonna do much until the next chapter, let's get to that one. But first, I've got an idea. Mind waiting for me?"

"July, what do you have planned?"

"I'll tell you later." She grinned, more widely than was strictly necessarily, and opened a portal.

It was about ten minutes before she returned. July's earlier grin was wider, if possible.

"What did you do?" Library asked as they portalled into the next chapter.

"Well, you remember Room 101, right?" July looked towards the sky for a moment. "Where they get shown their fears?"

"Yes, of course I do. What does that have to do with anything?"

"I was just planning out the assassination method." The grin turned wicked.

"I take it it's going to be a good one?"

"Damn right! Now let's get moving, there's gonna be a streamer soon."

A quick portal took them past the explosion. To Library's pleasure, the Sue was hurt and unconscious, likely from falling debris.

"Y'know, it really scares me when you're like that, since normally you're telling me to cut it out when I get like that," July said as they followed a bit character who had taken the Sue into a house to be taken care of.

"You normally don't know when to stop."

"Well, they're Sues. Why should I stop?"

"Because the Flowers and FicPsych both have enough insane people to deal with at HQ. That, and we're in Floaters. Not in the DMS," Library pointed out. In the background the Sue put on a poor act of pretending to not have been hurt.

"Hm. You have a point there," July admitted.

"The next part coming up will give us time to take the kids away from her," Library said, as she read the Words. "After that, you can tell me what you planned for the Sue and we can get this over with."

"Sounds like a plan!"

They followed the Sue once more back to the Jacobs' undescribed house, and once there, they went to the children, instead of paying attention to the Sue being fussed over. According to the Sue, the children had run off to play since everything was back to normal to them in their young minds.

"Hi!" July grinned as she caught up with the little boy. "D'you wanna be my- Ow, what was that for?" Library had hit her with the copy of 1984.

"You're being disturbing."


"You're not supposed to do it like that." Library crouched down to the floor and smiled at the little boy. "Hello, Jason."

The nondescript child looked back at her. "How'd you know my name?"

"Anna told us about you," she said. Since the Words were from the Sue's perspective, it wasn't technically a lie. "She's going to be going someplace special in a little bit, and we've come to take care of you and your sister," Library said, sweetly. "Will you come with us to someplace nice?"

Since the boy had been overly exposed to Aura of Smooth, he agreed with a nod and let Library hold his hand.

They did the same with his sister, and when Library took the two through the portal, there was little fussing, complaint, or fear of going through the strange glowing blue hole.

July, in the meantime, followed the Sue once again to the trinket shop, where the Sue noticed Winston once more, as well as Julia (though, to July's amazement, she didn't randomly know who Julia was too), and back again to the house.

After standing around there for several hours doing nothing, she began to fall asleep. She was leaning against the outside wall when the noise and light of a portal aroused her. Library had come back.

"What took you so long?" she complained. July stretched; sleeping standing was not good for anyone's back.

"Paperwork. Apparently both the Marquis de Sod and the Nursery wanted papers filled out on them. In triplicate."

July winced. "Eck, paperwork. Sorry."

"It wasn't that hard to do, though the Flower was picky about it."

"Well, I've had to wait through the Sue doing boring things while you were gone. Her spelling is awful. And everyone worrying over her too got tiresome."

"Next time something like this happens, I'll wait through it all. Now, will you tell me what you're planning for the assassination?"

July told her, explaining with much spastic and enthusiastic gesturing.

"That's actually a good plan. And very appropriate."

They waited.

The next morning Anna woke before everyone else. She sat up wincing, then finally got up and went out back, where July knocked her out with the sledgehammer.

When the Sue finally awoke, she realized she was tied down. And that wherever she was, it was completely dark, but she could still make out two figures in front of her.

"She's awake," Anna heard one of the figures whisper.

"I can see that," the other whispered back.

The second person cleared their throat. "Ahem, do you know where you are?"

"No, but I know who you are! You're from Big Brother! You're from the Party!"

One of the people slapped her. "That's not what we asked."

"Now July, we can't have any of that," the other said. "This is Room 101." A penlight was turned on, and its beam aimed at the Sue's eyes for a moment before it was turned to a book. Pages flipped until they found their place, and the speaker began to read from it, quoting O'Brien. "'Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.' "

"I'm not afraid of anything! I hate Big Brother and I hate the Party, I'm not afraid of either of them at all!"

A slit of light appeared before Anna on the wall in front of her. A door had opened from behind. She could hear the sound of walking, eleven pairs of feet making their own noise on the floor. At one point during the procession someone tripped and swore, only to be helped up and hushed.

The door closed again and a light turned on. Thirteen people, all in black, were arrayed around her. All of them were sharing unfriendly homicidal smiles. Every single one had a weapon.

"No, we are your worst fear," an older man in a fedora said. Much of the group nodded in agreement, a few voicing it, despite a girl muttering "I wish I could have said that."

The blonde haired girl who Anna now recognized as being the one with the penlight spoke. "Anna Elizabeth Goldstein, you are being charged by the Protectors of the Plot Continuum with the crime of being a Mary Sue. Agents representing the PPC here in your case being Agents Library, July Flame, Murtagh, Titus Andromicus, Anjilly Ka, Brenden Sanderson, Trojanhorse Shadowfax, Monbretia Tornquist, Lasa Nara, April Halloway, Lora Riker, Sabbat, and William Archer." She gestured at each Agent when she said their names. "The charges are breaking the Fourth Wall with a letter to the reader, using such awful spelling and grammar throughout the whole story that it was nearly a textbook case, hating Big Brother and the Party but still being free and existing, having the Party attempt to recondition you to their values without success and still letting you go, being the daughter of Emmanuel Goldstein, who in all likelihood is a fabrication of the Party as a target for focused hatred, being orphaned and using that to garner sympathy, running around with a bunch of children for no reason at all nor giving any reason for them to be sympathized with as actual characters and only using them to show how brave you are when it comes to being faced with the Thought Police and the Party, having the proles that fostered you idolize you, killing Mrs. Allen so as to have even more sympathy, becoming 'bearly' in a flashback, creating tree days, causing Mr. Allen to be a worthless lump, raising two children despite being a child yourself and using Sally and Jason Allen also as a source for sympathy, turning a telescreen in Victory Square into silkscreen, sneaking into the Ministry of Love-"

There was a thunking noise in the corner which everyone instinctively turned towards.

"What was that?" Anjilly raised her knife.

A telescreen on legs scuttled out towards them, and attacked the Sue's feet. Another one followed soon after.

With some struggle and biting, the footed telescreens were detached from the Sue.

"I think these are Winston the Ministry of love and Victory square," July said, inspected the one she was holding. It was currently scratching her arms up in an attempt to get at the Sue.

Library sighed. "Moving on, the creation of Mini-Telescreens Winston the Ministry of love and Victory square, sneaking into the Ministry of Love and not getting caught or noticed, finding documents indicating that Mr. Allen was sent to a labor camp, mentioning and using a train only for the return trip, knowing who Winston Smith is for no reason at all, disliking the owner of the trinket shop for no reason at all, misusing and abusing the common apostrophe everywhere, being in the area of the exploding streamer mentioned in the novel for no reason at all, being only slightly injured but injured enough to elicit sympathy and worry from bit characters, and, in the greatest breach of canon, existing, both as a Mary Sue and because the Party would have made you not exist if it were possible. I'd continue on, but everyone is getting bored, I think. Your penalty is death."

All the Sue could do was scream.

"I dunno about you," July said, as she filed out of the portal into their Response Center, "but that was pretty fun." She had been the last to come back in out of the fic, and most of the Agents who had helped out had already left, besides Trojie, Anjilly, and Brenden.

"There need to be more group assassinations," Trojie agreed. She was doing her best to clean glittery blood and assorted organic-looking gunk off of her belt chain."Shame Pads missed out though."

"What was she doing?"

"Probably stalking around FicPsych trying to get a hand on Remus Lupin again," Trojie said, shaking her head sadly. "She just said she was 'on a mission' this morning, and left before the console could beep."

"Huh," July said thoughtfully. The Floater had already given up on getting the mashed Sue parts off of her shirt, it would probably need to be burned. "I thought she was more into Ten than any HP characters."

"You do know about the whole 'reincarnation of slashy Sirius Black' thing, don't you?"

July's eyes widened and shook her head. "First I heard of that."

"Maybe intellectually she's a Ten fan, but she can't help being obsessed with Lupin any more than you can help having a spleen. Well, I should go now, the DIA or Weeds have probably booted her out of FicPsych, and I need to get back anyway, Absinthe will need a walk. Thanks for inviting me to help!" With that, Trojie left.

Anjilly and Brenden had been watching over the two Minis, both Agents looking slightly uncomfortable. Winston the Ministry of love was currently perched on the stool, staring at the Console's monitor."What are you going to do with those Minis?" Anjilly asked.

"I'm not sure," Library mused. "They don't have an OFU that I know of, and they're more disturbing than most Minis I've seen."

"Big Brother is watching," Anjilly quoted, agreeing with her.

"Well, we need to get going now, our queue has probably piled up while we've been gone, see you both around!" The two Assassins left, leaving the Floaters alone with the Minis.

There were a few awkward minutes, and then, without warning, the two Minis made a break for it and ran, leaving the Response Center.

All the two girls could do was leave the RC and stare in the direction the Minis had left.

"Do you think we should tell someone?" July asked, after awhile.


This story was just- I mean, YEESH. 1984 Sue, is there really anything to say?

Also, yes, the fact that the Minis ran off meant that they probably spent the entire quarantine someplace in HQ.

While Jason and his sister Sally have been left off for now, and July has forgotten them, I can assure you they will return. July never gets a break, is all I can say. Library doesn't either, but she tends to deal with it by giving July less breaks.

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